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    Now it seemed like I should feel eternally grateful for managing to turn him on despite my fat self.

    Before I lost the weight, I'd styled myself as a sexual adventuress, but I was really just a sexual supplicant, overcompensating for my size.

    I buzzed the apartments of men I'd met only electronically who were skilled in orgasmic meditation, a kind of mindfulness practice in which the man strokes the woman in 15-minute intervals to increase awareness and connection, not to mention to extend pleasure. My review based on four sessions: more clinical than sensual—although, I have to admit, one had been borderline transcendent.) Because I'm clueless about online porn, I actually had to ask a male friend how to cut and paste porn clips so that I could better sext with a guy who'd requested details about what turns me on—something no boyfriend had ever done.

    (A word about methods: I didn't announce the bucket list on Tinder—too many crazies out there. No, thanks—that looks terrifying and way too porny.

    I'd had multiple mini relationships, but much to my clichéd, ever-so-slightly-panicky midthirties dismay, none had gained traction. how about a man gorge (spiked with a few representatives of my own sex), designed to check some items off the list?

    "I can't believe I was so turned on by that," he told me.

    Even if I had serious qualms about my weight, sex with this guy I adored and trusted had always made me feel like a goddess.

    That happens more than 10,000,000 times a day, according to the company, and it's then that the texting can begin.

    (As for the sort-of-safe part, Tinder shows you which Facebook friends, if any, you share with a guy.)CASE STUDY 1: She Checked Off Every Item on Her Sexual Bucket List She's barefoot, without makeup, and in a teeny black negligee when the elevator opens and I step out into her loft. " she says cheerfully, reaching up to wrap me in a hug, before "Oh, you're so pretty!

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